I have a confession and that is that I have a guilty secret.
It usually comes to the fore around this time of the year.
Channel 5 is usually to blame and it usually starts towards the end of the year…
I LOVE Hallmark Christmas movies.
There, now you know.
I know it’s a cliché, but these movies really do seem to seep into the schedules earlier and earlier every year.
I’m convinced that this year’s crop are early for next year… and I’m not complaining in the slightest.
Currently my DVR is bulging at the sides and waving a white flag as I’ve been recording 2 moves a day from Channel 5 for weeks!
Some I watch and the rest I’m saving to watch around the Christmas holidays.
Anyway, if you’ve watched any of Hallmark’s Christmas movies, you’ll know that not only do they seem to be set in an alternative world, but you’ll also have more than likely noticed things that turn up in all of these movies with familiar regularity.
So, without further ado,
we draw back the curtains and humbly bring you…
10 Things You’ll Always See In Hallmark Christmas Movies.
1) There’s Always A Santa.
Of course there is, what do you expect?
It’s a Christmas movie, not just any Christmas movie, but it’s a Hallmark Christmas movie…
… and it’s not just any Santa…
… it’s a specific déjà vu inducing Santa.
You know the one. it’s the Santa where he’s out in the street, usually in front of a large store or office building… and he’s collecting money for some (assumed) charitable cause.
Yep, you guessed it, he’s also invariably ringing a bell.
Occasionally he’s ringing a magic bell in the background… you know the type, the magic bell that doesn’t make a sound while Santa waves it about.
This Santa must have a great agent and manager as he’s in ALL the Hallmark Christmas movies.
Not sure about the typecast issue though…
2) That Christmas Tree Farm.
Somewhere in the script of a Hallmark movie, it will call for the leading actor
/ actress / family to take a trip to the local Christmas tree farm.
To be honest, I don’t see the issue with this, after all we all have a local Christmas Tree farm?
3) Red, Red, Red
The cinematographers on these movies must somehow be immune to the colour red, as most of the scenes in these movies include at least one member of the cast wearing some sort of red clothing through the entire movie.
This is more often than not complimented with green somewhere in the background or on another cast member.
Just as an aside, the “red” and “green” you see in Hallmark Christmas movies never, ever…
ever…
ever…
ever…
… appear anywhere else in the known universe… only in Hallmark Christmas movies.
4) Let It Snow… Or Not… Let It Snow… Or Not.
Look out for this doozy as scenes like this are ubiquitous and obligatory in 
every Hallmark Christmas Movie…
Picture this, an external scene which includes gently falling snow.
One shot has falling snow, the reverse shot… no snow… etc… rinse… repeat… rinse… repeat…
Intermittent snow showers are one thing, but th… oh never mind.
5) A Family Business.
For some reason every Hallmark Christmas movie always seems to have some sort of family business written into the script;
… coffee shop…
…eatery …
… cake shop…
… bakery…
… gift shop…
… motel…
… toy shop…
Strangely enough, the only family business that doesn’t appear to feature in these movies is a Christmas Tree farm. See number 2 above.
6) Found, Lost And Found.
The main thread of any Hallmark Christmas Movie runs along the well worn 
path of, boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl again.
A common alternative of this is as follows…
Girl gets boy, girl loses boy, girl gets boy again.
Interchange boy with man, girl with woman at your leisure.
7) The Christmas Show / Concert / Pageant
Inevitably every Hallmark Christmas movie ends with some sort of Christmas show, musical, pageant… etc.
Usually these somehow save Christmas, save Santa, save the town, save the family business, save a life, save the relationship, save the world from climate change, save the universe from doomsday… get the idea?
8) Art Deco(s)
Everyone in a Hallmark Christmas movie must be an expert and highly 
qualified interior designer and decorator.
Everyone’s Christmas decorations in their homes is always perfect, artistically done and not a tinsel or speck of glitter out of place.
As usual there’s lots of red, green, a nice perfect roaring fireplace and an immaculate Christmas tree; obviously purchased from the local Christmas tree farm. See number 2 above.
9) The Kids
The main cast kids…
… the neighbours’ kids…
… the film extra kids…
… in fact, every kid in
the universe of Hallmark’s Christmas movies is well behaved, clean, hair styled perfectly, even the badly behaved kids don’t stay badly behaved as the final scene show, musical, pageant… etc. even fixes that somehow. See number 7 above.
10) Let It Snow… Or Not… Let It Snow… Or Not… Let It Snow…Or Not…
Very rarely do we see a crowd of people all helping to clear the snow in the 
morning before the stores, offices, coffee shops, eateries, cake shops, bakeries, gift shops, toy shops, motels open in the morning. See number 5 above
Nobody is ever delayed for work due to snow.
No airports, railway stations, ports, highways ever have any delays or other issues due to snow.
Gee… how I’d love to live in a Hallmark Christmas movie!
Right, give me a moment to don my reindeer patterned Christmas sweater and red and green scarf as I’m off to the coffee shop for a cake. Then I need to hurry and get to the local Christmas tree farm before they close…
Hold the ‘phone Joe… What am I talking about? I’m living in Hallmark Christmas movie… they never close!
Well that’s it for this post and as usual feel free to leave your comments.
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